Why adults have affairs?
Chat about a loaded theme that no one wants to chat about, that’s it. Amusing thing, affairs have been going on since old ages. Affairs can be burdened with evils, cause sadness, and other troubles. Plus you should wrap your maind around all the other issues, there’s that truth and frankness thing, funds, age difference, spiritual education, remorse, and on and on. I expect there will be some strong opinions about some of this.
For the purpose of this article I will define an affair as a long term, maybe decades long relationship of a sexual nature between two people of whom one or both are married to other persons, married date.
Why do men have extramarital affairs? There are as many reasons as there are women seeking affairs. I suppose mostly though it is only the human nature, the need for liking, belonging, to be wanted and cared for, the caring for others and wanting to be loved and respected. Here are a several explanations I have run across.
In nature we as human beings are all sexual beings. Nature has us set up to reproduce, to have sex. Sex is pleasurable and fun, and sex makes us get away the world for a brief period of time. This excitement exists for whatever amount of time we are able to keep the adrenalin levels high enough. Some people are able to turn the desire on and off, some are brilliant at controlling it and others are so-so at best. But we all have it, young and elder, able bodied and not so able. It is the Human condition. For some of us it is the sex act itself that drives us. For some of us it is the stimulation of the pursue. For some of us it is the seduction, for some it is the caring for another individual, for some it is the longing to be appreciatedloved, for some it is the entire romance thing. These needs and yearnings can be so strong they prevail over the taboos culture has erected against married dating. For many people the yearnings will overcome their doubts and make them risk the wrath of not only their relatives, but society too. So why, what is the means?
Sex Addicts, perhaps some of us are. Sex is awfully pleasant, better then drugs, a natural high. If you are in this group of physically driven sex addicts and can find away to have an affair and not harm your relatives or anybody else? You will need to reduce the threat you are taking. If you have the feeling that a good affair is one that is advantageous to all, then good luck.
No love at home, or no romance. I think this is the largest cluster, very big actually. There are many couples whose marriage is over, except they feel comfy in the manner they live, and upsetting the extended families is not on their list of things they wish to do. You love your spouse but there is no romance. Then there are the children to consider. Your funds are so knotted. You need the medical insurance, and so on. There are a lot of reasons to stay together besides love and sex.
Physical reasons, there are some people who can not have sex. They have physical reasons that stop them implementing the sex act, at least not with their othere half. An extramarital affair at times solves the trouble while keeping the marriage intact.
Ignoring, sadly this is a ordinary cause I fear. One or the other, as a rule the gentleman is sexually neglecting his spouse for a number of reasons. As a man I really am thankful to you guys neglecting your wives and making them obtainable to us guys of romance, making them “hot milfs” But I still think it is despicable that you are neglectful. Then there is the spouse who is neglectful until the wife or husband has an affair, then they condemn them for doing so, when they where the catalyst. Those who neglect, then condemn, are not only neglectful, but evil.
Something is just missing in the marriage, I can not put my finger on it, but its not there. Maybe its romance that is missing, could be it is a lack of love, maybe caring is not here, could be it is the intimacy, maybe neglect. Could be we have just grown separately, our common concerns diverged. Could be it is that what I want, and what I want to do the rest of my ages, is contradictory of what you want. Maybe I simply don’t know what I want from the marriage anymore. Could be, just maybe I miss that emotion that when I am with you, it just feels right.
The major reason people give is, they search for the passion that is missing and so very much longed for.
There are other reasons, the feeling of power, to run off, for economic gain, for retribution and so on. I am sure there are more reasons why people have affairs then these. I only stop because if this gets too long no one will read it.